• Ann

John McCain: Pain and Loss...and Homecoming.

Updated: May 13


Rune: Othala: A rune of radical severance, submission and quite possibly, retreat, return to the enclosure of the clan.*

Animal Medicine Card: Crow. Crow knows the unknowable mysteries of creation, Crow is the keeper of all sacred law.*


Ann: John?


John McCain: Yes, Ann. I know I have been here a lot lately, but there are many out there suffering. We all do at some point or another, to some extent or another.

We suffer loss, excruciating pain and betrayal and feel that God has defaulted on his contract. We cannot cope, we spiral, we scream our agony to the heavens, and weep that we hear no reply. What is it? How can we cope?

I can tell you a little about this because I have been through it more than once, not just in the Hanoi prison, for in many ways that was easier because it was clear who the enemy was, but in everyday life where these occasions come at you unawares - or, if you think you have prepared, you find out you have not.

There is only one answer, and that is to leave your body for an instant, an hour, or an extended period of time so that you can get a reset. Every single one of you can do this. This is often how we carry on when we have nothing left.

The trick is what we do when we are in that suspended place. Do we veg out, pray for numbness to pervade our system so that the pain will stop, or do we go further? Do we ask for help, and when it is offered, will we receive?

The fancy doctors call it dissociation, and they think it’s an illness. And in some ways it is, particularly if you can’t come back, but I have also called it prayer. That was when I died to my body but still had access to my angels. They saved me. The hotshot flyboy who wasn’t so hot when it came down to it, the kid who thought he had the answers who finally surrendered, who asked for help and received more that he could ever have bargained for.

It was a lifetime journey for me, for, after the crisis passed, then came reentry. Many cannot manage the demands of regular life after such an experience, and they come in many forms. The loss of a spouse or worse yet a child, a critical illness or injury, anything that leads us to the realization (which eventually claims us all) that we cannot control what life throws at us. So, then what? Then what when we return and it seems like everybody else is still the same?

Well, my friends, I don’t know about you, but I fell flat on my face. Over and over and over again. Then I began to get my sea legs by taking myself back to that place of healing that had been given me when I weathered that first crisis. It took a lifetime to refine that ability, and I would be the first to say that I never got the job done, but I kept on, I grew, and I learned to trust.

And it is this that I want to share with you - and maybe you will share will me also if you take a notion. There is pain, yes, unspeakable loss, complete devastation, yes.

And there is also the spirit guide that comes to help you through whatever crisis that confronts you. Be it an angel, a teacher in past lives, Jesus or another holy figure, you learn time after hard time that they never go away, and you are never abandoned.

And that’s what lets you go on. Not just slog along with a heavy heart. No, that is what lets you smile, laugh with life every day because you know, you know, that nothing is as important as what you have learned, that you are never alone, that you are loved, that it will turn out alright in the end, and that you can take everything you have to give to that holy cause because, whether or not it wins out in your lifetime, you know that you have kicked that holy can of knowledge a little further down the road.

This is what we are given when we suffer. It’s not for the faint of heart, and those who give up or go down for the count are not to be despised for where they happen to be on their journey. They too will find that angel, that savior, if not in this lifetime then the next.

It is real, my friends. It is what keeps us marchin’, as Auntie** would say.

This is the purpose, the expanding light that will pull us through any dark period in our individual or collective lives. Reach for it. It is there.


May 11, 2021


*See Blum, Ralph H. The Book of Runes: A Handbook for the Use of an Ancient Oracle: The Viking Runes.

Thorsson, Edred. Futhark: A Handbook of Rune Magic.

Sams and Carson. Medicine Cards




All blog entries are works of the imagination and are for spiritual and entertainment purposes only.




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