In these days of the travesty of Trump and his followers, it is easy to lose heart, but today I woke up with these two voices in my head, and it's hard to stay down when they're around.
Richard Burton: You are happy, are you not, John?
John McCain: Absolutely. Once you know it, really know it, you know it for all time. Then pain and delay and heartbreak and betrayal cannot touch you where you really live. I don’t mean that you won’t hurt, won’t writhe in agony when a friend of your heart betrays everything that each of you meant for each other, but your foundation, your central core will remain inviolate.
That’s what I learned in my life, starting early as a hot jock and not so hot pilot, crucified at the Hanoi Hilton and picking up the pieces for the rest of my life. But what I learned under those striations of torture never left me. Never again could I turn to despair because in the darkest of nights God was there with me, and I could never deny, never to question His presence again.
Richard: I envy you, John, oh, not the exquisite torture you endured, but the certainty of Spirit’s reality and character that carried you through the rest of your life
John: We all come to it in our own ways, every single one of us. Who would have thought a wastrel, profligate, fancy pants would have made it to a place of illumination where his darkest hours -, and, Richard, I know there were plenty - are now fodder for the struggling and grist for the mill? And, as a number of folks have said, “The mills of the Lord grind slow, but they grind exceeding fine.” What that means, my friends, is that everyone goes through hell sooner or later. You have to. Nothing else will get through our thick skulls that we are loved, that that love is unconditional and infinite, that it will never leave us because we are its self in all its glorious colors.
Richard: Could not have said it better myself. The squandering of my gifts I now see a necessary process to my understanding of that fundamental truth. It took a descent into the hell of my self-loathing to bring me out the other side and past my conviction that if God loved me, he must have a screw loose.
John: And now?
Richard: Now I am with Source every hour of every day, and by that I mean that Source is the eternal fabric of my being. And if I can use my understanding of my crooked path to that realization to make common cause with my fellows who are still struggling through the haze of human evil and ego created illusionary structures and tomes, then so much the better. I have found my path. I still have much to learn, much to gather to my soul to expand its center into wholeness, but I am on that path, and my happiness, my joy in understanding that I have a clan, a tribe, a Source and Spirit Guide that will never forsake me grows exponentially as I walk in this new way.
John: We’ve come a long way from the hotshot fly boy and the darling of the tabloids, huh?
Richard: You would have to put it like that, and, in any case, I beg to differ. We are what we were then and what we are now, both blessed and loved in each stage of our evolution, just now with eyes to see.
John: You put it better which should come as no surprise to anyone. A pleasure working with you, Dick.
Richard: Sure thing, Mac.
May 19, 2020
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