Robin Williams Has Something To Say
Updated: Oct 29, 2019
On August 10, 2019 Anita of Anita's Angels emailed me to say that Robin Williams wanted to talk to me. It seemed unlikely, but I never blow Anita off, and so asked if he were out there and wanted to talk. I got the writing below. However, I remained skeptical and asked him to send me some indication that it was really him. He demurred but the next day I discovered that it was the 5th anniversary of his death. I have included the writing here because he touches my heart and believe that has something to say to all of us as he always did. I am hoping that he is held now as he was in the picture above by Koko the gorilla.
“No one questioned my decision to leave.
It was the right one and accepted as such.”
Ann: Hi Robin, Anita said you wanted to talk to me.
Robin: Righteo. Really did, can’t imagine how frustrating it is to be here screaming, dancing, making faces and gestures and have no one notice, it really is the most unimaginably frustrating experience. Ahhhhhh!!!!
A: Stop. Robin. I. Cannot. Type. That. Fast. Or even hear that fast. Can you tone it down and get to what you wanted to say. The real stuff, not the rant or the riff.
R: Sorry sorry sorry, just can’t seem to slow myself down, I just
A: Stop. You. Can. Slow. Yourself Down. Like. This.
R: Yes. Ok.
A: Think the doc in “Awakenings.”
R: Ok, better. The center is not that jumbled just the outer rings….
A: Outer rings of what?
R: My soul, my personality, my persona, my aura, my origin, my previous beings human and otherwise.
A: Do you want to explain that to me?
R: No. I. Want. To. Say that I was humbled at being allowed to exist in the mind and psyche that was granted me in the last incarnation, and I am deeply grateful for that opportunity to exist at such a high frequency. I know that I hurt people, perhaps your friend Richard would understand as he too revolved around a similar type of center so forceful that it simply could not be contained. So I didn’t try and was thrilled and depressed in turn by the blow out and then blow up then following crash that was pretty much my existence. It was a ride, and I wouldn’t give anything for it but not sure I would try it just like that again.
A: How are you?
R: I am still vibrating. Yes, I ended my life. I could see nothing but disaster looming. Can you imagine my energy cycles taking place in a demented person’s brain? I would have been in a strait jacket at the very least, and zombied out on drugs just to be prevented from running amok, but still the torment would rage inside of me. I was afraid of what I might do, and I was afraid to live in that hell. And at the core I was exhausted. It was time. I have no regrets about the time and manner of my departing, but I have much to do to get myself back in balance.
A: Were you ever in balance?
R: Yes and no. I knew, on occasion, how to help people with my gifts, witness Chris Reeve, my son, and countless others whose names you do not know. That was when I was most whole. I loved seeing the delight and surprise that came to the faces of people I interacted with but, as you may have noticed I did not have a lot of control over the give and take, and I crossed the lined many times before pulling back too late in response the horror on the face of my listeners.
One of the problems with a gift like that is that with a wide open channel and a firehose of energy fueling it, there are multiple opportunities for dark forces to creep in and this can happen before you even know it. Mostly I controlled it for public outings but not always in private.
A: Did you experiment with that?
R: Yes, to my everlasting shame, and let me tell you once, they get hold of you, it is the devil’s work to get them to let go.
A: Did you do that?
R: I really did. Thank God I had angels guarding my soul who knew that I could not always defend myself, and they stood guard in my stead when my mind and psyche where off on a tangent in this world and others and not always for the greater good. But still I knew that I was just a tiny, hairy bug on the tip of some protuberance in the vast reaches of the universe and yet I also knew that my energy could lift or drag the whole. I do want to say to you and your tribe that every gallant effort you make to open to the light, to the forces that want to heal this plane, is one less moment that darkens will prevail. Just be vigilant because this is a time which is vulnerable to darkness.
A: Was this what you wanted to say?
R: Yes. But not just this. In part just wanted to have someone hear me. Can you imagine being a highly energized performer treading upon an empty stage in a vacant theater?
A: Sounds awful. Isn’t there anyone there that you can delight and with whom you can discuss your soul’s purpose?
R: Oh yes, lots of folks - and by that I mean angels, spirits, entities, neighborhoods and universes which hold me, you and all the world in the most incredible dimensions of unconditional love. Everyone says that so it has become trite and overused, but it is real and it is what is waiting.
No one questioned my decision to leave. It was the right one and accepted as such. I had done everything I had come to do so far as my limited human being‘s essence could produce. I had much to atone for and needed to look further at how I might have done better, but there is no condemnation here, just an awareness of who we are and where we are going.
Evil exists, yes but only to illuminate the light in contrast. It will not survive the millenniums because eventually there will be nothing for it to feed on. Your job now is to not feed the beast. Turn away, don’t engage. Yes, work on your less attractive tendencies and vulnerabilities, but, when you hear condemnation of your very essence, walk away because that is not the voice of God.
You want to stop now.
A: Well, you are pretty over powering.
R: Working on it. Will you let me come back?
A: Sure. Could you show me something in this world today or sometime so that I know that it is you?
R: You just want a souvenir, you know who I am.
A: Well yes, but thought I would ask. You are awfully entertaining and make everyone smile so a little of that in my world would be awfully nice.
R: I will see what I can do. Richard calls you Madame. I think I will too, not for the same reason but because you are gaining your own gravitas in this world and the next.
A: Wow. Thanks, Robin.
R: My pleasure – and relief to be able to talk to you.